...it's the only plot we got.

Archive for December, 2010

RUMOR CONTRACT: Disgaea 4 Replaces Sexy Wooden Horse Torture With Sexy Bestiality Torture

CATSABER IS SO CUDDLY

Bill 156 approves of archer/catsaber sexual relations!

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Portraits of the Princess – VII: Crazy Dream of the Moon

Hardedge-Maelstrom

cat-esque sweater vamp
sliced into seventeen bits
eyes are gold now run

Click pic for big sexy res. Artwork by Hardedge-Maelstrom aka Colin Tan.


Happy Holidays From Rescue the Princess!

SO FEW P4 CHRISTMAS PICS

We’re too bear~y lazy to do anything for the next few days! You better be bear~y lazy too! LAUGH AND GROW FAT!

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Musings of Mudora – III: Women in Games; Blast from the Past

zelda

So in my eighteenth century literature class we talked a lot about women and how they were treated pretty poorly, what with their husbands ruling them like kings, and having them restricted to non-thinking and non-talking activities. One of my favorite things was this laughably bad women’s “conduct” book (obviously written by a male) which literally instructed women on how to behave in various situations. I think my favorite quote came in a section informing women on what to do, should they catch their husbands doing something wrong. You know, maybe you caught him sneaking sweets before dinner, or macking on some lass outside, or punching an old man in the ear. Whatever the case, the gist of the rule is to “Do not seem to look or hear that way“.

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Rambles in the Mist – VII: Speculation on Depravity of Moral Guardian Tokyo Governor…?

Shintaro Ishihara, the Man

RUMOR CONTRACT #9325: Tokyo Governor Shintaro Ishihara, former novelist acquainted with Yukio Mishima, moral guardian, old man, and promoter of Anti-Stuff Ban, writes fanfiction depicting the rape of Travis Touchdown by Doctor Naomi, both of No More Heroes fame.

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Portraits of the Princess – VI: Ballistically Equipped

maruuco's Ashley Graham and Leon S. Kennedy of Resident Evil 4

president’s daughter
must rescue all the damn time
good thing there’s ada

No big sexy res. Artwork by maruuco.


Rescue the Princess! – Boss Montage is Best Montage!

Boss fight montage from Episode #0002, “Don’t Spare a Bear”! SPOILERS ABOUND; go check that post for which games were spoiled because you should watch that podcast anyways!


Musings of Mudora – II: Speaking of Metal Gear…

gears

It’s the stealth. The situation. The feel of it. MGS is one of the first truly interactive forms of entertainment. It immerses you into the role of the protagonist in Kojima’s feature film. The characters you meet along the way, the setting, the things you learn, all come together in a solid (no pun intended) package (no pun here either) that provides an intuitive gameplay system that works.

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Finding Yoshi’s Cookie – I: Gameplay vs. Story

I HATE THE TERM GAMEPLAY

Circumstance 1. I have yet to find all of the hundreds of stars in Mario Galaxy 2. I have one left to get and it’s a daredevil multi-course speed run. Every time cloud Mario gets shocked and dies on the floor, tears seep from my eyes. Not because I feel for this plumber, but because I want to get that last star and look awesome while doing it.

[Ed: SPOILERS FOR RED DEAD REDEMPTION]

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Rambles in the Mist – VI: Let’s Positive Posting!

I love the meat dimension!

Because there isn’t enough love!

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Rescue the Princess! – #0002! Don’t Spare a Bear!

Podcast episode number TWO! Heated literary debate on BOSS FIGHTS and why the montage is the best narrative device ever! I wanted to talk about Okami but I forgot and we also forgot to turn off AUTOFOCUS! SORRY AMMY! Features CENSORSHIP (TOO SOON MISCOMMUNICATION??) and SPOILERS (ranging from kinda minor spoilers…to TONS of spoilers…to BIGTIME spoilers so you should’ve played the damn game, you FOOL!) for (listed in alphabetical order for your convenience and discussed completely NOT in this order!):

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bayonetta (KINDA)
  • Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (KINDA)
  • Donkey Kong 64 (KINDA)
  • God of War 3 (KINDA)
  • Goldeneye (KINDA)
  • Kingdom Hearts (KINDA)
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (BIGTIME)
  • Metal Gear Solid (ALL OF IT, RUN AWAY)
  • Metroid Prime (KINDA)
  • No More Heroes (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (BIGTIME)
  • Red Dead Redemption (BIGTIME)
  • Shadow of the Colossus (BIGTIME)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 1 and 2 (BIGTIME kinda who cares it’s force unleashed)

Get audio only mp3 from Mediafire! Don’t know if the end will cut off streaming again so here’s the direct download! HEY, LISTEN! SOMEONE TELL US WHAT THE END IS LIKE! Also this episode is dedicated to Fight Club and M. Night Shyamalan!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Censor music jacked from “Pure-White Giant Tiny Glastonbury”. Everything compiled and edited AWESOMELY by the simple and humble b-rock.


Portraits of the Princess – V: Girls in White and Boys with Horns

ashwara's Yorda and Ico of ICO

caged ethereal waif
dragged off into the shadows
wake up it’s a dream

Click pic for big sexy res. Artwork by ashwara.


Rambles in the Mist – V: All of Them Ended By Hollywood

Ain't Hollywood until the crossover

How to tell when your favorite games are no longer good!

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Rescue the Princess! – Podcast #0001!

This is the first videocast but not really! Disjointed arguments about nothing in particular! Yeah! Get it in mp3 here or here! End of video cuts off! WHY?? Download instead of streaming if you want the BRILLIANT ending!

Music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”.


Portraits of the Princess – IV: Justice Lies With Princesses

Talking-Jive's Yggdra of Yggdra Union

fools cannot pronounce
behind you an army follows
the front is lonesome

Click pic for big sexy res. Artwork by Talking-Jive aka Emily Costello.