RUMOR CONTRACT: Pokemon Black and White to Have Romance and Sexual Education in World Release
Due to overwhelming amounts of love and lust on the Internet, Game Freak has added a romance mini-game.
“Every day since we released Pocket Monsters Red and Green, I have people mailing me their fanart of Red and Misty in sexual congress,” sighs Mr. Freak, CEO of Game Freak, the developers behind the smash hit franchise. “I figure if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”
In an official statement from Nintendo early this morning, Pokemon Black and White, to be released worldwide on March 4-10, 2011, will contain available romances with Bianca, Cheren, and N, regardless of your player avatar’s gender.
Parents applaud the move.
“I couldn’t bear to explain the birds and the bees to my 10-year-old, but these Pokemon games will be able to,” says Janine Zenigame, mother of three and part-time firefighter. “I also enjoy the promise of strapping young lads attempting to dominate one another.”
As predicted by Poke-analysts, fan-reaction was indignant.
“This is bullshit! JUST Bianca, Cheren, and N? Where the hell’s Caitlin?!” ~ PolkaKid37 on Serebii.net forums
“I am boycotting anything Pokemon until Game Freak allows the player to marry their significant other, start a family, and raise a successful farm in under four years.” ~ XxXSmugleavesXxX on her Tumblr
“Do you think we’ll ever get Trainer-Pokemon sexytimes?” ~ Anonymous Rescue the Princess administrator
Sourced with 5% Acc. from Bulbapedia’s Shipper’s Paradise.
[b-rock is an accredited RUMORMONGER, formerly affiliated with the Kuzunoha Detective Agency. Now freelance due to (CENSORED) which resulted in (CENSORED)’s Master Ball getting wasted on an Apsaras. “Pokemon” is a videogame series that lords over all. Developed by Game Freak, a company that cannot be stopped.]
WHAT THE FUCK NINTENDO
March 7, 2011 at 3:30 am
SERIOUSLY!!!!!
\
March 7, 2011 at 3:30 am
1000% serious!
March 8, 2011 at 4:22 pm
I don’t know what to think of this…should I be happy?
March 8, 2011 at 3:38 am
Are you content? If so, then no! For happiness is but the struggle for stronger love!
March 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Pssh, I wish, unless I missed something, it’s false, I’ve already beaten the game, and there was no sexual content contained in it
March 12, 2011 at 11:40 pm
I think you missed something!
March 14, 2011 at 2:27 am
OMG!!! Is this a serious page or is this a joke??? (Honestly, I’m hoping it’s not because I LOVE N.)
March 15, 2011 at 11:02 pm
I love N too!
March 16, 2011 at 5:02 pm
My person loves N and so do I but nice pic of Cheren, Hero, And N.
March 15, 2011 at 11:20 pm
They always end up in nice pics, don’t they?
March 16, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Fuuuuu~ B-rock San have you seen any romance yet ？
March 19, 2011 at 1:55 am
I always see romance EVERYWHERE.
March 21, 2011 at 5:58 pm
OMG! Now Im intirely confused, Im almost finished, nothing has happened between N,Cheren, Bianca and I except the feriswheel ride with N!
SO confused! My friend told me that N was a girl,,, Is that true? Soooo confusing. O_O
March 19, 2011 at 5:42 am
It’s all between the lines!
March 21, 2011 at 6:00 pm
people, what makes pokemon, pokemon?
cool graphics + awesome and orginal creativity = a wonderful art or game piece.(e.g. pokemon)thats what I think.
Pokemon franchise games’ GENRE is not catergorised for sexual entertainment of visual display. uh uh no sir, it’s ment to be ENJOYABLE with some andrelaline and reclaim certain moments of youth to let older people feel young again.
Game Freak if you can read this, please remember you control your ‘product of art’ and no ones else. here’s an old saying. It’s doesn’t what other people think it’s WHAT YOU THINK. YOUR WORK. YOUR LIFE.
Since now you’ve been contribtuting sth very nice to this world so dont let your work go downhill by being judged by stupid opinions from CERTAIN PEOPLE >__>.
@ the idiots: The guys with mouths watering for sexual explicet or hentai whatever, GAME FREAK and POKEMON is NOT the place for it, Try picking a ds game laballed with adult content. YOUR SMELLING IN THE WRONG TREE. lol
March 22, 2011 at 11:25 am
Oh come now, romance does not always equate into sex, fun as that may be!
March 24, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I beat the game a couple days before I got it and I didn’t see a lot of romance…
I did find moments that were touching like the ferris wheel ride, when Bianca’s Muna was stolen(Like it could have been better but it was okay) and when N left for example(And I got sad and desperatley searched Google to see if he came back XD) for instance…
I did enjoy the game but I hoped for a little bit more of a romantic core. All in total though, it was good.
April 23, 2011 at 12:56 am