...it's the only plot we got.

Show

Rescue the Princess! – #0019! Badasses F*** Their Crew!

RtP! discusses the concept of romantic relationships in video games, specifically ones that are affected by the player’s actions.

Games discussed and possible spoilers for: Mass Effect, Harvest Moon, Fire Emblem, Alpha Protocol, Pandora’s Tower, Persona 3 + 4, Dragon Age II.


Persona 4 Panel at Anime North 2012

It’s the Persona 4 panel at Anime North! Seagz, Lost Link and b-rock discuss the game’s story and characters with the audience. And what an audience! We had the very last slot at the convention and we thought everyone would have gone home and no one show up…so we were surprised to find a FULLHOUSE filled with dedicated Persona fans. Thanks for coming out and for being such a great audience.

And a special shout-out to the tech guy who participated in our presentation………


Rescue the Princess! – #0018! The Open World Game

It’s podcast #18 and RtP! has gathered together to discuss the concept of open world video games and how storytelling can work (or not) within them. Youtube video is audio only with pictures. Download MP3 below!

Games discussed, no real spoilers:

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Grand Theft Auto IV
Red Dead Redemption
L.A. Noire
Batman: Arkham City
Fallout 3
Persona 4

Download audio only version HERE!


Rescue the Princess! – #0017! Game Story of the Year Awards!

Rescue the Princess! is kicking off the awards season by announcing the best video game stories of last year! And it’s a SPOILER FREE podcast. Did your favorites make it on to the list? Tune in to find out! Hosted by Lost Link and Seagz.

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Oscarly edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0016! Christmascast!

Merry Christmas! Rescue the Princess gathers together for some holiday cheer and discussion on what we’re looking forward to in 2012. What games are sure to have engrossing tales? Cooleto and Seagz even dare to mention games that don’t focus on story at all!

What games are you looking forward to the most? Email or comment!

Opening theme jacked from Mariah Carey. Cheerily edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0015! Anniversarycast! EDITED VERSION!

Edited (aka BETTER) version with abundant video clips!

It’s the first anniversary of Rescue the Princess! So we’ve got Seagz as an official co-host, finally! Then we each talk about our top 3 games stories of all-time forever! Cooleto gushes over Batman! Lost Link supports Metal Gear Solid! Seagz waxes poetic about Final Fantasy AND Kingdom Hearts! b-rock chokes in rage and cries over Megaten! If you want to just know our fav games and not bother with this podcast at all, look at the About page!

Games discussed so no real spoilers:

  • Batman: Arkham City
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Ghost Trick
  • ICO
  • Kingdom Hearts
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
  • Persona 4
  • Planescape: Torment
  • Red Dead Redemption
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

So what are YOUR top 3 game stories of ALL TIME? Email or comment!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0015! Anniversarycast!

It’s the first anniversary of Rescue the Princess! So we’ve got Seagz as an official co-host, finally! Then we each talk about our top 3 games stories of all-time forever! Cooleto gushes over Batman! Lost Link supports Metal Gear Solid! Seagz waxes poetic about Final Fantasy AND Kingdom Hearts! b-rock chokes in rage and cries over Megaten! If you want to just know our fav games and not bother with this podcast at all, look at the About page!

Games discussed so no real spoilers EXCEPT FOR RED DEAD REDEMPTION (thank you very much, Cooleto):

  • Batman: Arkham City
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Ghost Trick
  • ICO
  • Kingdom Hearts
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
  • Persona 4
  • Planescape: Torment
  • Red Dead Redemption (ACTUAL ENDGAME SPOILERS)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Blip had some encoding problems because Lost Link made b-rock change the perfectly wonderful current settings to a different size and bitrate and now WTF. Sorry! Still watchable, just no thumbnail!

So what are YOUR top 3 game stories of ALL TIME? Email or comment!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0014! Why Do We Play Games? Uncut!

Episode FOURTEEN of the Rescue the Princess podcast: why do we play games? We answer this with non-pretentious ramblings and ravings! Starring the triumphant debut of co-host Seagz and featuring special guest Phrank! Quite long, quite NSFW!

Games discussed, no real spoilers:

  • Batman: Arkham City
  • Call of Duty
  • The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
  • Fruit Ninja
  • Harvest Moon
  • Minecraft
  • Red Dead Redemption
  • Sonic the Hedgehog
  • Starcraft
  • World of Warcraft

So why do you play games? Because they’re art? Because they’re escapism? Because they’re fun? Email or comment! Also don’t forget our Youtube channel where we put up our edited videos!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #BONUS STAGE! A TRIBUTE PODCAST?!

BONUS STAGE podcast! Rescue the Princess’ very first CLIPSHOW: it’s the tribute podcast to Mr. Cool…featuring the best of episodes 1-13…plus never-before-seen footage! VGL 2011! A LOST podcast that historians would murder to get! All that and more in the first and only clipshow we’ll ever make because this took forever! Of course it’s not-safe-for-work! Of course there’s out-of-context editing! Of course there’s montages! Of course there’s LITERARYNESS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COOLETO

…happy birthday Cooleto!

Music jacked from the X-Men theme, the 90s Spider-man theme, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: THE GAME, Batman, Force Unleashed 2, the Mos Eisley Cantina Band, Rango, and Adele. Enthusiastically edited with eroticism by Lost Link and b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0010! Uncut!

Long, unedited version (like, just shy over an hour long) of podcast ten! “Let’s Just Get On To Other M”! The Metroid episode (mainly Metroid Prime and…OTHER M)! Rescue the Princess talks about this classic series and the aftermath of OTHER M, GREATEST METROID EVER MADE! Special guest: Ian!

Super spoilers for:

  • Metroid
  • Metroid II: Return of Samus
  • Metroid Fusion
  • Metroid Prime
  • Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
  • Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
  • Metroid: Other M

Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0013! To You, Mark Hamill!

It’s episode THIRTEEN of the podcast and it’s a special one with a special guest: Shawn of Rogue’s Gallery! If you like comics, you buy them there or may a goblin toss you off a bridge! But wait! It’s a REALLY special podcast because it’s the last time you’ll see Cooleto on the show! He’s been hired by Rocksteady Studios to write the script for a Batman dating sim where you get to hook Batman up with a variety of characters, including Harley Quinn!

So yes, it’s the COMICCAST semi-uncut, dedicated to Mark Hamill and his glorious voice! Rescue the Princess talks about comics, videogames, and how some are done right and how some are done terribly, terribly wrong! Then we discuss the XTREME 90s, the comics we’d like to see as games, and movies of summer 2011! The Walking Dead videogame is being made by Telltale Games, by the way! From the team behind Sam & Max? Boy, we’re definitely in for some laughs! NSFW podcast like always!

Videogame spoilers (not really, more like topics):

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum
  • Batman: Arkham City
  • DC Universe Online
  • Dead Space
  • Dead Space 2
  • Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2
  • Spider-man: Maximum Carnage
  • Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Comic spoilers/topics:

  • Marvel’s Civil War
  • Scott Pilgrim
  • Shingeki no Kyojin (Advance of the Giants/Attack on Titan)
  • The Walking Dead

And that’s it! No more talking about Spider-man on Rescue the Princess ever again! What are your favorite videogames based off comics? What comics would make excellent videogames? Should Shawn replace Cooleto as the new co-host? Email the show or post some comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0012! Seven Deadly Sins!

Podcast episode TWELVE but it’s really episode NINE but we never got around to putting it up until now because b-rock lost the edits a long time ago and broke down in tears until deciding to re-edit it all! SEVEN DEADLY SINS episode! It’s 1000% accurate and full of journalistic integrity! Rescue the Princess names the epitomes for each sin in videogaming existence…but wait! We all disagree? So you’re getting 21 names altogether! Who, you might ask? Watch on and find out! Spoilers? Maybe! NSFW?? Just a tad! b-rock gets censored??? DEFINITELY.

No short version of this because Lost Link won’t edit it! No mp3 audio only either! Just this vid; watch or be condemned to gaze into Lucifer’s genitals for eternity! Who are YOUR seven deadly sins of videogames? Email the show or post some comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0011! Missile, Missile! Short Version!

Short, edited version of podcast ELEVEN! It’s…the GHOST TRICK EPISODE, “Missile, Missile”! Titled just for Cooleto! But wait…how can there be a game podcast about a game that only came out this year? SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY. Rescue the Princess has deemed it the most likely BEST GAME STORY OF 2011 unanimously so it’s THAT good! But wait! SUPER, SUPER SPOILERS for Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective…so if you have yet to play it…GO PLAY IT NOW. Oh, NSFW like usual on account of MISSILE! Special guests: Captain Falcon, Seagz (on an official podcast!), and a certain fellow in red!

Super spoilers for:

  • Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.

HINT COIN #0008: Track 17 is for a bad girl. Track 18 is I LOVE YOU FAYE BUT DEATH TO FF. Track 19 is Fallout 3 with swords. Track 20 is a miserable little pile of secrets.


Rescue the Princess! – #0010! Let’s Just Get On To Other M! Short Version!

Short, edited version of podcast ten! Sorry for the desync in audio! BLAME IT ON OTHER M. Or rather, “Let’s Just Get On To Other M”! That’s right, it’s the Metroid episode (mainly Metroid Prime and…OTHER M)! Another Nintendo-focused podcast?? What’s up with that? Rescue the Princess talks about this classic series and the aftermath of OTHER M, GREATEST METROID EVER MADE! Special guest: Ian!

Super spoilers for:

  • Metroid
  • Metroid II: Return of Samus
  • Metroid Fusion
  • Metroid Prime
  • Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
  • Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
  • Metroid: Other M

Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link. Best wishes to IGN.

HINT COIN #0006: Track 08 is from a dragon-filled saga. Track 09 changes the nature of a man. Track 10 makes one want to shout into the DS mic. Track 11 is god from intro. Track 12 is from another series killed off by Square-Enix. Track 13 is a homunculus’ theme.


Rescue the Princess! Weekly: #00001 – E3 2011

New feature: Rescue the Princess Weekly podcast! Random rants about anything! But wait, this time it’s focused because of E3 2011! What does RtP think about the show? Not a whole lot, to be honest! Also watch 2/3rds of Rescue the Princess plus more eat sushi and sandwiches!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.

HINT COIN #0004: Track 04 involves running. Track 05 was at VGL 2011.


Rescue the Princess! – #BONUS STAGE! Anime North 2011! SO INTENSE!!!

BONUS STAGE podcast! Rescue the Princess at Anime North 2011! Maybe you saw us there? Starring b-rock as Naoto Shirogane of Persona 4, Lost Link as Sissel of Ghost Trick…with special guests Seagz as Big Boss in Tuxedo Skin of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and Bernie as Sailorman of Navyland! It’s the recap episode as we go into downtime to recover from our adventures! b-rock is HATLESS! Lost Link wears a HAT! Cooleto didn’t go! And Seagz is SUITED UP! Watch 2/3rds plus one of Rescue the Princess drink over the course of an hour and see the many clips and pixxx we took of the COSPLAYS at the con! Marvel at our commentary and knowledge gleaned from this experience! Weep for Lost Link’s car!

NSFW? OBVIOUSLY! GHOST TRICK SPOILERS? KINDA!

Rescue the Princess! @ Anime North 2011

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.

HINT COIN #0003: Track 02 is from a game based on Norse mythology. Track 03 is ROCK.


Rescue the Princess! – #0009! Heroine Addicts Are Superheroes! Short Version!

Short, edited version of podcast nine even though it’s really eleven because we skipped two podcasts for some reason or another! “Heroine Addicts Are Superheroes”! …IT’S THE BIOSHOCK EPISODE AT LONG LAST! Will ONLY put up the edited version because BY THE GREAT WILL, uncut is ungodly long! Serious, serious LITERARY and PHILOSOPHICAL debate between b-rock, Cooleto, Lost Link…and special guest, Stewart M! HIS BLOG’S OVER HERE! Kindly run away if ye be terrified of massive spoilers, unscripted bollocks, and capitalist pig profanity!

Super spoilers for:

  • Bioshock
  • Bioshock 2
  • System Shock 2
  • Bioshock Infinite (b-rock went to the future)

Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.

HINT COIN #0002: Track 01 is only on the PS3 and the 360 as of May 26th, 2011. A 2010 game.


Rescue the Princess! – #0008! Short Version!

Short, edited version of podcast eight! “Small Fry”! The Zelda episode with special guest: Zelda Girl! I took a long time to put this up because I’M THE ONLY ONE WRITING GODDAMMIT I WANT A BREAK TO PLAY DRAGON AGE 2 AND SHOGUN 2 AND AW YEAH POKEMON BLACK.

Super spoilers for:

  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  • The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0008! Small Fry!

Podcast episode EIGHT! Zelda episode! …um, wait, WHAT?? Did Rescue the Princess follow through on a promise from last time…? By Tingle’s beard, yes we did! We even have a special guest: Zelda Girl! We have HEATED DISCUSSION on which Zelda game is the greatest and what each game MEANS. So much literaryness that you’ll want to choke yourselves to death on rupees! Long, uncut, kinda-not-really-safe-for-work-on-account-of-HEATED-DISCUSSION, references to the path of overcoming and TONS OF ZELDA PICTURES!

Super spoilers for:

  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  • The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Sorry we didn’t talk about your favorite Zelda if it doesn’t happen to be on the list! Get audio only mp3 here! So? What are YOUR thoughts on the Zelda universe? Should we get to witness a man turning into a Stalfos? Is Wind Waker the greatest Zelda of forever? Got TIMELINE THEORIES?? Email the show or post some comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0007! Short Version!

It’s the edited, short version of “Skull Kid Guy Sucks”! THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: MAJORA’S MASK episode! Rescue the Princess celebrates it and Zelda’s 25th anniversary! AND GROUNDHOG DAY!

Super spoilers for:

  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Short Version!

Short, edited version of “Karma Crunchcast” aka podcast SIX! Edited by Lost Link and that is why the resolution is all CRAZY. Rescue the Princess talks about the Karma Meter and its affect on games! BIOSHOCK EPISODE IS NEVER COMING BECAUSE OF NEGATIVE KARMA!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • Infamous (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0007! Skull Kid Guy Sucks! Uncut!

It’s podcast EPISODE SEVEN! Not the Bioshock episode…or even a topic episode! It’s the very, very first GAME episode from Rescue the Princess…and to mark such an occassion, it’s about THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: MAJORA’S MASK! Hey, it’s also the 25th anniversary, isn’t it?? Long, uncut, highly not safe for work but with pretty, pretty pictures and sexy dancing! Special guest: SKULL KID. DAMN YOU OFF CENTER CAMERA!

Super spoilers for:

  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

…OBVIOUSLY. Oh and Groundhog Day starring the eternal greatness that is Bill Murray! Get audio only mp3 here! Do you think that Majora’s Mask is LITERARY GOODNESS or GIMMICKY BOLLOCKS? Email the show or post in the comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Karma Crunchcast! Uncut!

Podcast episode SIX filmed on LUNAR NEW YEAR! Rescue the Princess argue over the purpose of the KARMA METER in videogames! Is it necessary? Is it a relic of a generation long past? Is it a topic that everyone actually agrees upon?? Will the crew EVER get to the Bioshock episode????? Find out right now! WARNING: It’s long and uncut but there are pictures and a few video clips and NSFW LANGUAGE!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • James Cameron’s Avatar: The Game (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

May have been other things mentioned but it probably wasn’t important like Force Unleashed! Get audio only mp3 here! What are your thoughts on the karma meter and the ways to abolish it? Email the show or post in the comments! This podcast was not sponsored by Meat Bun!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0005! Short Version!

It’s the short, edited version of “Corpse on the Table” aka podcast FIVE by Lost Link! Rescue the Princess talks about PLAYER DEATH IN GAMES! There’s gameplay inside! LOST LINK CUT OUT PAC-MAN AND PLANESCAPE: TORMENT TALK?? What a fiend!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Assassin’s Creed series (KINDA)
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bioshock series (KINDA)
  • Fire Emblem series (NOT REALLY)
  • Heavy Rain (KINDA)
  • Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (NOT REALLY)
  • Limbo (NOT REALLY)
  • Metal Gear Solid (NANOMACHINES)
  • Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia 2008 (NOT REALLY)
  • Resident Evil 4 (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.