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Posts tagged “bollocks

Rescue the Princess! – #0008! Short Version!

Short, edited version of podcast eight! “Small Fry”! The Zelda episode with special guest: Zelda Girl! I took a long time to put this up because I’M THE ONLY ONE WRITING GODDAMMIT I WANT A BREAK TO PLAY DRAGON AGE 2 AND SHOGUN 2 AND AW YEAH POKEMON BLACK.

Super spoilers for:

  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  • The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0008! Small Fry!

Podcast episode EIGHT! Zelda episode! …um, wait, WHAT?? Did Rescue the Princess follow through on a promise from last time…? By Tingle’s beard, yes we did! We even have a special guest: Zelda Girl! We have HEATED DISCUSSION on which Zelda game is the greatest and what each game MEANS. So much literaryness that you’ll want to choke yourselves to death on rupees! Long, uncut, kinda-not-really-safe-for-work-on-account-of-HEATED-DISCUSSION, references to the path of overcoming and TONS OF ZELDA PICTURES!

Super spoilers for:

  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  • The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Sorry we didn’t talk about your favorite Zelda if it doesn’t happen to be on the list! Get audio only mp3 here! So? What are YOUR thoughts on the Zelda universe? Should we get to witness a man turning into a Stalfos? Is Wind Waker the greatest Zelda of forever? Got TIMELINE THEORIES?? Email the show or post some comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Short Version!

Short, edited version of “Karma Crunchcast” aka podcast SIX! Edited by Lost Link and that is why the resolution is all CRAZY. Rescue the Princess talks about the Karma Meter and its affect on games! BIOSHOCK EPISODE IS NEVER COMING BECAUSE OF NEGATIVE KARMA!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • Infamous (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Karma Crunchcast! Uncut!

Podcast episode SIX filmed on LUNAR NEW YEAR! Rescue the Princess argue over the purpose of the KARMA METER in videogames! Is it necessary? Is it a relic of a generation long past? Is it a topic that everyone actually agrees upon?? Will the crew EVER get to the Bioshock episode????? Find out right now! WARNING: It’s long and uncut but there are pictures and a few video clips and NSFW LANGUAGE!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • James Cameron’s Avatar: The Game (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

May have been other things mentioned but it probably wasn’t important like Force Unleashed! Get audio only mp3 here! What are your thoughts on the karma meter and the ways to abolish it? Email the show or post in the comments! This podcast was not sponsored by Meat Bun!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0004! A New Hope! Long But Still Short Edition??

Podcast FOUR! So unlucky! But that’s ok, because this one was OBVIOUSLY FILMED ON NOT THE SAME DAY AS PODCAST THREE! The crew talks about EIGHT upcoming games of 2011 that may or may not have AWESOME stories but they better have awesome stories or heads will roll! You better look forward to these games too! Except anything from b-rock, as his selection contains far too much SEXY BEAST! ALL PODCASTS NSFW BY THE WAY!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

Get audio only mp3 here! Is this the shortest UNCUT podcast from Rescue the Princess ever???? Top 3 list good and proper write-ups coming soon! HEY LISTEN write in what YOUR prophesied best game stories of 2011 will be! NOTHING FROM THE END OF THE YEAR; SORRY LAST GUARDIAN AND MASS EFFECT 3. Oh hey what’s this in April?

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rambles in the Mist – VII: Speculation on Depravity of Moral Guardian Tokyo Governor…?

Shintaro Ishihara, the Man

RUMOR CONTRACT #9325: Tokyo Governor Shintaro Ishihara, former novelist acquainted with Yukio Mishima, moral guardian, old man, and promoter of Anti-Stuff Ban, writes fanfiction depicting the rape of Travis Touchdown by Doctor Naomi, both of No More Heroes fame.

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Finding Yoshi’s Cookie – I: Gameplay vs. Story

I HATE THE TERM GAMEPLAY

Circumstance 1. I have yet to find all of the hundreds of stars in Mario Galaxy 2. I have one left to get and it’s a daredevil multi-course speed run. Every time cloud Mario gets shocked and dies on the floor, tears seep from my eyes. Not because I feel for this plumber, but because I want to get that last star and look awesome while doing it.

[Ed: SPOILERS FOR RED DEAD REDEMPTION]

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Rambles in the Mist – II: No More Sacred Heroes

THAT COULD'VE BEEN A GIRL. BOTH OF THEM.

“The Trico is a very powerful creature… If we’d had a beefed-up, powerful hero, it would have thrown off the balance a little bit, so the design naturally drove me to create an adolescent female character who was light on her feet. But in the end I decided a boy would have a little more grip to climb the Trico. Another problem is that girls tend to wear skirts, and The Last Guardian features a lot of climbing…”

~Fumito Ueda

Really.

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