...it's the only plot we got.

Posts tagged “donkey kong

The Real Excitements of E3

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Here at RTP, we could care less about the so called “console war”. Though we may tend to poke fun at the culture and community surrounding the video game marketing industry (as you’ll see with our next set of podcasts), we are much more concerned with quality gaming experiences. We do not simply look forward to the next generation of games with regards to graphics but rather with the new and creative ways developers can tell stories within the video game medium.

While E3 might be filled to the brim with big PR announcements, new technology reveals along with some innovative/gimmick-riddled gameplay showcases, there are a bunch of previews for future game titles. So here’s a look at some highlights from E3 as seen from the point of view of those whose mouths don’t start to water at the sight of a new Call of Duty trailer.

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Rescue the Princess! – #0012! Seven Deadly Sins!

Podcast episode TWELVE but it’s really episode NINE but we never got around to putting it up until now because b-rock lost the edits a long time ago and broke down in tears until deciding to re-edit it all! SEVEN DEADLY SINS episode! It’s 1000% accurate and full of journalistic integrity! Rescue the Princess names the epitomes for each sin in videogaming existence…but wait! We all disagree? So you’re getting 21 names altogether! Who, you might ask? Watch on and find out! Spoilers? Maybe! NSFW?? Just a tad! b-rock gets censored??? DEFINITELY.

No short version of this because Lost Link won’t edit it! No mp3 audio only either! Just this vid; watch or be condemned to gaze into Lucifer’s genitals for eternity! Who are YOUR seven deadly sins of videogames? Email the show or post some comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess #0002! Lost Link Editing Edition!

Rescue the Princess Episode 2, “Don’t Spare a Bear!”, edited by Lost Link! It’s shorter, more compact, version of this and has GAME VIDEO inside! Craziness!

SUPER spoilers still stand for:

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bayonetta (KINDA)
  • Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (KINDA)
  • Donkey Kong 64 (KINDA)
  • God of War 3 (KINDA)
  • Goldeneye (KINDA)
  • Kingdom Hearts (KINDA)
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (BIGTIME)
  • Metal Gear Solid (ALL OF IT, RUN AWAY)
  • Metroid Prime (KINDA)
  • No More Heroes (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (BIGTIME)
  • Red Dead Redemption (BIGTIME)
  • Shadow of the Colossus (BIGTIME)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 1 and 2 (BIGTIME kinda who cares it’s force unleashed)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”.


Rescue the Princess! – Boss Montage is Best Montage!

Boss fight montage from Episode #0002, “Don’t Spare a Bear”! SPOILERS ABOUND; go check that post for which games were spoiled because you should watch that podcast anyways!


Rescue the Princess! – #0002! Don’t Spare a Bear!

Podcast episode number TWO! Heated literary debate on BOSS FIGHTS and why the montage is the best narrative device ever! I wanted to talk about Okami but I forgot and we also forgot to turn off AUTOFOCUS! SORRY AMMY! Features CENSORSHIP (TOO SOON MISCOMMUNICATION??) and SPOILERS (ranging from kinda minor spoilers…to TONS of spoilers…to BIGTIME spoilers so you should’ve played the damn game, you FOOL!) for (listed in alphabetical order for your convenience and discussed completely NOT in this order!):

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bayonetta (KINDA)
  • Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (KINDA)
  • Donkey Kong 64 (KINDA)
  • God of War 3 (KINDA)
  • Goldeneye (KINDA)
  • Kingdom Hearts (KINDA)
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (BIGTIME)
  • Metal Gear Solid (ALL OF IT, RUN AWAY)
  • Metroid Prime (KINDA)
  • No More Heroes (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (BIGTIME)
  • Red Dead Redemption (BIGTIME)
  • Shadow of the Colossus (BIGTIME)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 1 and 2 (BIGTIME kinda who cares it’s force unleashed)

Get audio only mp3 from Mediafire! Don’t know if the end will cut off streaming again so here’s the direct download! HEY, LISTEN! SOMEONE TELL US WHAT THE END IS LIKE! Also this episode is dedicated to Fight Club and M. Night Shyamalan!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Censor music jacked from “Pure-White Giant Tiny Glastonbury”. Everything compiled and edited AWESOMELY by the simple and humble b-rock.