...it's the only plot we got.

Posts tagged “sexuality

RUMOR CONTRACT: Confirmation of Catherine to be Released in North America Confirmed By Reputable Sources

CATHERINE, SEX-PUZZLE-NIGHTMARE GAME, NORTH AMERICA, SUMMER 2011, FOX NEWS GOES BALLISTIC

Rescue the Princess absolutely correct; will continue to tell 1000% truth in videogame journalism from here to eternity.

Sourced with 100% accuracy from Siliconera, Kotowari, and Secret Sexy Atlus CEO Catherine’s erotic email.

[b-rock will perform responsible journalism from now on, swearing upon the trustworthiness of Trias the Betrayer.]



The World’s Most Romantic Game is Persona 3 Portable

SOCIAL LINK REVERSAL

Whether you play as a girl or a boy, you can love up everyone and that’s what matters most.

(more…)


Gaming’s 5 Most Attractive (And Rejected) Stalkers

Lezard Valeth, the Edward Cullen of Videogames

It is a truth commonly known that the best of the best tales of romance contain wild obsession and attempted rape and murder, from Apollo and Daphne to Les Miserables to Twilight to the greatest tale of all, WALL-E; videogames are no exception. But in celebration of Singles Awareness Day, let us not read about those who were successful in their pursuits! Let us read about those who tried yet inexplicably failed, despite their personal beauty, charisma, and insanity!

(more…)


RUMOR CONTRACT: Pokemon Black and White to Have Romance and Sexual Education in World Release

Black, White, N threesome rape is canon

Due to overwhelming amounts of love and lust on the Internet, Game Freak has added a romance mini-game.

(more…)


RUMOR CONTRACT: Polls Show College-Aged Males Despise Gears of War 3

The ladies'll be dead and raped by mid-game

86% blame the open presence of women.

(more…)


“Metroid: Other M” Has Best Game Story and Characters of 2010

Samus' ass holds the future of Metroid

It’s official, says Rescue the Princess crew.


RUMOR CONTRACT: The 3rd Birthday Is Square-Enix’s First Real Foray Into Pornography

The 3rd Birthday contains three tentacle sex scenes, five heterosexual sex scenes, thirteen lesbian sex scenes, two gay sex scenes, and twenty counts of softcore behaviour

Also contains tentacle rape.

(more…)


RUMOR CONTRACT: Final Fantasy XIII-2 Delayed To Avoid Confrontation With Ar Tonelico Qoga

Yun Fang x Lightning FF yuri hentai not available yet

Revelations over high levels of sexual content has Square-Enix in retreat.

(more…)


RUMOR CONTRACT: Canadians Attempt to Convert World to Bisexuality via Dragon Age II

Hawke x Bethany is canon

Confirmed: everyone in Kirkwall is bisexual.

(more…)


RUMOR CONTRACT: Catherine Confirms Fetishy Preferences of PS3 and 360 Owners

What's YOUR nightmare?

Atlus’ Persona Team has discovered that 1000% of PS3 owners fancy T while 1000% of 360 owners fancy A.

(more…)


RUMOR CONTRACT: Disgaea 4 Replaces Sexy Wooden Horse Torture With Sexy Bestiality Torture

CATSABER IS SO CUDDLY

Bill 156 approves of archer/catsaber sexual relations!

(more…)