...it's the only plot we got.

Posts tagged “star wars

Rescue the Princess! – #0025! Spoiler Cast!

RtP! discusses plot twists in video games. Which ones surprised us and which ones were predictable? Which ones were interesting and which were complete garbage?

With CUTSCENES and special guest Xinity!

Mega spoilers for Assassin’s Creed, Persona 3/4, Metal Gear Solid, Knights of the Old Republic, Final Fantasy X, Heavy Rain, Chrono Trigger, System Shock, Ghost Trick, Red Dead Redemption, The Walking Dead.


Rescue the Princess! – #BONUS STAGE! A TRIBUTE PODCAST?!

BONUS STAGE podcast! Rescue the Princess’ very first CLIPSHOW: it’s the tribute podcast to Mr. Cool…featuring the best of episodes 1-13…plus never-before-seen footage! VGL 2011! A LOST podcast that historians would murder to get! All that and more in the first and only clipshow we’ll ever make because this took forever! Of course it’s not-safe-for-work! Of course there’s out-of-context editing! Of course there’s montages! Of course there’s LITERARYNESS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COOLETO

…happy birthday Cooleto!

Music jacked from the X-Men theme, the 90s Spider-man theme, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: THE GAME, Batman, Force Unleashed 2, the Mos Eisley Cantina Band, Rango, and Adele. Enthusiastically edited with eroticism by Lost Link and b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Short Version!

Short, edited version of “Karma Crunchcast” aka podcast SIX! Edited by Lost Link and that is why the resolution is all CRAZY. Rescue the Princess talks about the Karma Meter and its affect on games! BIOSHOCK EPISODE IS NEVER COMING BECAUSE OF NEGATIVE KARMA!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • Infamous (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Karma Crunchcast! Uncut!

Podcast episode SIX filmed on LUNAR NEW YEAR! Rescue the Princess argue over the purpose of the KARMA METER in videogames! Is it necessary? Is it a relic of a generation long past? Is it a topic that everyone actually agrees upon?? Will the crew EVER get to the Bioshock episode????? Find out right now! WARNING: It’s long and uncut but there are pictures and a few video clips and NSFW LANGUAGE!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • James Cameron’s Avatar: The Game (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

May have been other things mentioned but it probably wasn’t important like Force Unleashed! Get audio only mp3 here! What are your thoughts on the karma meter and the ways to abolish it? Email the show or post in the comments! This podcast was not sponsored by Meat Bun!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess Super New Year Predictions and Prospects: b-rock’s MAYBE Top 5 Game Stories of 2011

Top FUTURE Game Stories MAYHAPS for 2011!

Gaze upon b-rock’s divinations for the year of 2011 CE; know that Rescue the Princess is never, EVER wrong! This is the official list! Dissent will be crushed with an 8-bit pixel!

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Rescue the Princess! – #0005! Short Version!

It’s the short, edited version of “Corpse on the Table” aka podcast FIVE by Lost Link! Rescue the Princess talks about PLAYER DEATH IN GAMES! There’s gameplay inside! LOST LINK CUT OUT PAC-MAN AND PLANESCAPE: TORMENT TALK?? What a fiend!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Assassin’s Creed series (KINDA)
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bioshock series (KINDA)
  • Fire Emblem series (NOT REALLY)
  • Heavy Rain (KINDA)
  • Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (NOT REALLY)
  • Limbo (NOT REALLY)
  • Metal Gear Solid (NANOMACHINES)
  • Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia 2008 (NOT REALLY)
  • Resident Evil 4 (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0005! Corpse on the Table?? Long…but with GAME VIDEO!

It’s podcast number FIVE! Rescue the Princess crew talk about…PLAYER DEATH IN VIDEOGAMES! Sorry, Bioshock fans; BLAME B-ROCK FOR THE DELAYS! Is player death an integral factor in games? b-rock says BOLLOCKS to that! Cooleto says it’s IMPORTANT! Lost Link mediates from the middle with METAL GEAR BIAS! There’s GAMEPLAY (ewww, GAME MECHANICS, I mean!) FOOTAGE INSIDE!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Assassin’s Creed series (KINDA)
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bioshock series (KINDA)
  • Fire Emblem series (NOT REALLY)
  • Heavy Rain (KINDA)
  • Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (NOT REALLY)
  • Limbo (NOT REALLY)
  • Metal Gear Solid (NANOMACHINES)
  • Pac-man (1000% TRUTH)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia 2008 (NOT REALLY)
  • Resident Evil 4 (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (IT’S FORCE UNLEASHED)

…and some other stuff but maybe we didn’t really talk about it? Get audio only mp3 here! What do YOU think about player death? Email the show or post in the comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0004! A New Hope! Long But Still Short Edition??

Podcast FOUR! So unlucky! But that’s ok, because this one was OBVIOUSLY FILMED ON NOT THE SAME DAY AS PODCAST THREE! The crew talks about EIGHT upcoming games of 2011 that may or may not have AWESOME stories but they better have awesome stories or heads will roll! You better look forward to these games too! Except anything from b-rock, as his selection contains far too much SEXY BEAST! ALL PODCASTS NSFW BY THE WAY!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

Get audio only mp3 here! Is this the shortest UNCUT podcast from Rescue the Princess ever???? Top 3 list good and proper write-ups coming soon! HEY LISTEN write in what YOUR prophesied best game stories of 2011 will be! NOTHING FROM THE END OF THE YEAR; SORRY LAST GUARDIAN AND MASS EFFECT 3. Oh hey what’s this in April?

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess #0002! Lost Link Editing Edition!

Rescue the Princess Episode 2, “Don’t Spare a Bear!”, edited by Lost Link! It’s shorter, more compact, version of this and has GAME VIDEO inside! Craziness!

SUPER spoilers still stand for:

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bayonetta (KINDA)
  • Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (KINDA)
  • Donkey Kong 64 (KINDA)
  • God of War 3 (KINDA)
  • Goldeneye (KINDA)
  • Kingdom Hearts (KINDA)
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (BIGTIME)
  • Metal Gear Solid (ALL OF IT, RUN AWAY)
  • Metroid Prime (KINDA)
  • No More Heroes (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (BIGTIME)
  • Red Dead Redemption (BIGTIME)
  • Shadow of the Colossus (BIGTIME)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 1 and 2 (BIGTIME kinda who cares it’s force unleashed)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”.


Rescue the Princess! – #0002! Don’t Spare a Bear!

Podcast episode number TWO! Heated literary debate on BOSS FIGHTS and why the montage is the best narrative device ever! I wanted to talk about Okami but I forgot and we also forgot to turn off AUTOFOCUS! SORRY AMMY! Features CENSORSHIP (TOO SOON MISCOMMUNICATION??) and SPOILERS (ranging from kinda minor spoilers…to TONS of spoilers…to BIGTIME spoilers so you should’ve played the damn game, you FOOL!) for (listed in alphabetical order for your convenience and discussed completely NOT in this order!):

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bayonetta (KINDA)
  • Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (KINDA)
  • Donkey Kong 64 (KINDA)
  • God of War 3 (KINDA)
  • Goldeneye (KINDA)
  • Kingdom Hearts (KINDA)
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (BIGTIME)
  • Metal Gear Solid (ALL OF IT, RUN AWAY)
  • Metroid Prime (KINDA)
  • No More Heroes (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (BIGTIME)
  • Red Dead Redemption (BIGTIME)
  • Shadow of the Colossus (BIGTIME)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 1 and 2 (BIGTIME kinda who cares it’s force unleashed)

Get audio only mp3 from Mediafire! Don’t know if the end will cut off streaming again so here’s the direct download! HEY, LISTEN! SOMEONE TELL US WHAT THE END IS LIKE! Also this episode is dedicated to Fight Club and M. Night Shyamalan!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Censor music jacked from “Pure-White Giant Tiny Glastonbury”. Everything compiled and edited AWESOMELY by the simple and humble b-rock.


Rambles in the Mist – V: All of Them Ended By Hollywood

Ain't Hollywood until the crossover

How to tell when your favorite games are no longer good!

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Rescue the Princess! – Podcast #0001!

This is the first videocast but not really! Disjointed arguments about nothing in particular! Yeah! Get it in mp3 here or here! End of video cuts off! WHY?? Download instead of streaming if you want the BRILLIANT ending!

Music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”.