...it's the only plot we got.

Posts tagged “uncut

Rescue the Princess! – #0010! Uncut!

Long, unedited version (like, just shy over an hour long) of podcast ten! “Let’s Just Get On To Other M”! The Metroid episode (mainly Metroid Prime and…OTHER M)! Rescue the Princess talks about this classic series and the aftermath of OTHER M, GREATEST METROID EVER MADE! Special guest: Ian!

Super spoilers for:

  • Metroid
  • Metroid II: Return of Samus
  • Metroid Fusion
  • Metroid Prime
  • Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
  • Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
  • Metroid: Other M

Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0012! Seven Deadly Sins!

Podcast episode TWELVE but it’s really episode NINE but we never got around to putting it up until now because b-rock lost the edits a long time ago and broke down in tears until deciding to re-edit it all! SEVEN DEADLY SINS episode! It’s 1000% accurate and full of journalistic integrity! Rescue the Princess names the epitomes for each sin in videogaming existence…but wait! We all disagree? So you’re getting 21 names altogether! Who, you might ask? Watch on and find out! Spoilers? Maybe! NSFW?? Just a tad! b-rock gets censored??? DEFINITELY.

No short version of this because Lost Link won’t edit it! No mp3 audio only either! Just this vid; watch or be condemned to gaze into Lucifer’s genitals for eternity! Who are YOUR seven deadly sins of videogames? Email the show or post some comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


RUMOR CONTRACT: Sega’s Yakuza 4 Will Be Released in North America Completely Uncensored

LIKE A DRAGON 4

Except for a quiz game that was deemed incomprehensible and an opening video so sexual, it reverted Buddhist monks out of celibacy.

(more…)


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Short Version!

Short, edited version of “Karma Crunchcast” aka podcast SIX! Edited by Lost Link and that is why the resolution is all CRAZY. Rescue the Princess talks about the Karma Meter and its affect on games! BIOSHOCK EPISODE IS NEVER COMING BECAUSE OF NEGATIVE KARMA!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • Infamous (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0006! Karma Crunchcast! Uncut!

Podcast episode SIX filmed on LUNAR NEW YEAR! Rescue the Princess argue over the purpose of the KARMA METER in videogames! Is it necessary? Is it a relic of a generation long past? Is it a topic that everyone actually agrees upon?? Will the crew EVER get to the Bioshock episode????? Find out right now! WARNING: It’s long and uncut but there are pictures and a few video clips and NSFW LANGUAGE!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Baldur’s Gate (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (NOT REALLY)
  • Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Bhaal (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age: Origins (NOT REALLY)
  • Dragon Age II (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout 3 (NOT REALLY)
  • Fallout: New Vegas (NOT REALLY)
  • James Cameron’s Avatar: The Game (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect (NOT REALLY)
  • Mass Effect 2 (KINDA BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE)
  • Metal Gear Solid (KINDA)
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (KINDA)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations (KINDA)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Red Dead Redemption (NOT REALLY)
  • Shadow the Hedgehog (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (NOT REALLY)
  • Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (NOT REALLY)
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (NOT REALLY)
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (NOT REALLY)

May have been other things mentioned but it probably wasn’t important like Force Unleashed! Get audio only mp3 here! What are your thoughts on the karma meter and the ways to abolish it? Email the show or post in the comments! This podcast was not sponsored by Meat Bun!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0005! Short Version!

It’s the short, edited version of “Corpse on the Table” aka podcast FIVE by Lost Link! Rescue the Princess talks about PLAYER DEATH IN GAMES! There’s gameplay inside! LOST LINK CUT OUT PAC-MAN AND PLANESCAPE: TORMENT TALK?? What a fiend!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Assassin’s Creed series (KINDA)
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bioshock series (KINDA)
  • Fire Emblem series (NOT REALLY)
  • Heavy Rain (KINDA)
  • Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (NOT REALLY)
  • Limbo (NOT REALLY)
  • Metal Gear Solid (NANOMACHINES)
  • Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia 2008 (NOT REALLY)
  • Resident Evil 4 (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0005! Corpse on the Table?? Long…but with GAME VIDEO!

It’s podcast number FIVE! Rescue the Princess crew talk about…PLAYER DEATH IN VIDEOGAMES! Sorry, Bioshock fans; BLAME B-ROCK FOR THE DELAYS! Is player death an integral factor in games? b-rock says BOLLOCKS to that! Cooleto says it’s IMPORTANT! Lost Link mediates from the middle with METAL GEAR BIAS! There’s GAMEPLAY (ewww, GAME MECHANICS, I mean!) FOOTAGE INSIDE!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

  • Assassin’s Creed series (KINDA)
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (LOTS)
  • Bioshock series (KINDA)
  • Fire Emblem series (NOT REALLY)
  • Heavy Rain (KINDA)
  • Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (NOT REALLY)
  • Limbo (NOT REALLY)
  • Metal Gear Solid (NANOMACHINES)
  • Pac-man (1000% TRUTH)
  • Planescape: Torment (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (NOT REALLY)
  • Prince of Persia 2008 (NOT REALLY)
  • Resident Evil 4 (NOT REALLY)
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (KINDA)
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction (KINDA)
  • Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (IT’S FORCE UNLEASHED)

…and some other stuff but maybe we didn’t really talk about it? Get audio only mp3 here! What do YOU think about player death? Email the show or post in the comments!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Enthusiastically edited by Lost Link.


Rescue the Princess! – #0004! A New Hope! Long But Still Short Edition??

Podcast FOUR! So unlucky! But that’s ok, because this one was OBVIOUSLY FILMED ON NOT THE SAME DAY AS PODCAST THREE! The crew talks about EIGHT upcoming games of 2011 that may or may not have AWESOME stories but they better have awesome stories or heads will roll! You better look forward to these games too! Except anything from b-rock, as his selection contains far too much SEXY BEAST! ALL PODCASTS NSFW BY THE WAY!

Maybe kinda spoilers for:

Get audio only mp3 here! Is this the shortest UNCUT podcast from Rescue the Princess ever???? Top 3 list good and proper write-ups coming soon! HEY LISTEN write in what YOUR prophesied best game stories of 2011 will be! NOTHING FROM THE END OF THE YEAR; SORRY LAST GUARDIAN AND MASS EFFECT 3. Oh hey what’s this in April?

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Erotically edited by b-rock.


Rescue the Princess! – #0003! Top 3! Long Edition!

Podcast THREE! First real podcast of 2011! b-rock is hungover, Cooleto is ringing in the new year, and Lost Link has vuvuzela fever! The crew wraps up NINE games, with THREE games a person, declaring the best game stories of 2010! Don’t you dare take this talk with a grain of salt; it’s not opinion, it’s FACT!

SUPER spoilers for:

  • Obsidian Entertainment’s Alpha Protocol
  • 2k Marin and 2k China’s Bioshock 2
  • Bungie’s Halo: Reach
  • Quantic Dream’s Heavy Rain
  • Playdead Studios’ Limbo
  • Kojima Productions’ Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
  • 4A Games’ Metro 2033
  • Rockstar San Diego and Rockstar North’s Red Dead Redemption
  • Atlus and Lancarse’s Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey

Get audio only mp3 here! Will also have GOOD AND PROPER WRITE-UPS for each of our TOP 3 lists so prepare yourselves for elegant extrapolation soon to come! Also tell us what YOUR top 3 game stories of 2010 were! Make sure to have lots of LA PASSIONE and beat out b-rock’s pretensions, Cooleto’s genius, and Lost Link’s bollocks!

Opening music jacked from “8-bit Escape from L.A. Theme”. Compliments to John Williams. SUPERBLY synced by Lost Link and EUPHORICALLY edited by b-rock.